In the land of ASD the one eyed man is King....no wait, I mean the meltdown holdeth ye hostage! Meltdown....such a nice label, it almost conjures up images of a simmering sauce bubbling gently over a low ring. Right about now anyone who has witnessed what us Mom's and guardians of our kids call a "meltdown" are wetting their knickers and rolling around on the floor in hysterics. It's less a simmering of gentle pops and more a glooping, slopping, spitting, gaseous geyser about to erupt.
When you see the signs of an impending melt down your options are slim, you have to if you can (a) figure out the cause of it, (sensory, overwhelmed, frustration, pain etc) and (b) determine if the situation needs distraction, ignoring or removal, (the latter not so easy with a 100lb 10 year old).
Now all of the above will have to be dealt with differently depending on the location. It's not so easy to deal with a melt down in public versus the comfort of your own home. I have been known to leave entire cartloads of groceries at the checkout, mumble apologies to the acne ridden cashier whose jaw is scraping the floor and pushing passed the blue rinsed old biddy who is tutting and insisting a week with her will "sort him out." After several of these experiences I developed a skin that can only be described as Teflon; The Thing has nothing on this Momma. I think the best comeback I've heard when "good meaning" strangers (AKA invasive old farts or IOF's), "he has autism...what's your excuse!" Later on I learned to carry little cards that explained what they were witnessing was not a brat who needs discipline, but a child with autism. It's shut up a few IOF's in my time ;D
Each of my mini trifecta have meltdowns; as Jacob is close to his 11th birthday I can read his on coming fits in a nanosecond, reason and yes on occasion dangling the odd carrot or threat does enough. Cormac melts down rarely, but when he does shields are at maximum and there may be a needle jump on the seismic scale at the local weather station. Hannah however is currently developing a lovely penchant for transition melt downs. Coming in from outside, getting changed, going to the dinner table, leaving the dinner table, getting dressed, getting undressed, getting in the car seat, getting out of the car seat, brushing teeth and lately she's been quite annoyed that she can not control involuntary reflexes like breathing, blinking and yawning.
There is a point of no return with her that means you have to let her scream and rant it out. I know with patience, the above interventions and time this too as a dear friend commented "shall pass like a kidney stone, but it shall pass." After all, I had been told by "professionals" that no doubt Jacob would be in a boys home or worse at his current age when he was not much older than Hannah; not the well adjusted, quirky, funny, straight A kiddo he is today.
In the meantime, I think I shall invest in a lot of spackle, sandpaper and paint to cover up the evidence. You never know when Old Faithful might have to breathe;)
When you see the signs of an impending melt down your options are slim, you have to if you can (a) figure out the cause of it, (sensory, overwhelmed, frustration, pain etc) and (b) determine if the situation needs distraction, ignoring or removal, (the latter not so easy with a 100lb 10 year old).
Now all of the above will have to be dealt with differently depending on the location. It's not so easy to deal with a melt down in public versus the comfort of your own home. I have been known to leave entire cartloads of groceries at the checkout, mumble apologies to the acne ridden cashier whose jaw is scraping the floor and pushing passed the blue rinsed old biddy who is tutting and insisting a week with her will "sort him out." After several of these experiences I developed a skin that can only be described as Teflon; The Thing has nothing on this Momma. I think the best comeback I've heard when "good meaning" strangers (AKA invasive old farts or IOF's), "he has autism...what's your excuse!" Later on I learned to carry little cards that explained what they were witnessing was not a brat who needs discipline, but a child with autism. It's shut up a few IOF's in my time ;D
Each of my mini trifecta have meltdowns; as Jacob is close to his 11th birthday I can read his on coming fits in a nanosecond, reason and yes on occasion dangling the odd carrot or threat does enough. Cormac melts down rarely, but when he does shields are at maximum and there may be a needle jump on the seismic scale at the local weather station. Hannah however is currently developing a lovely penchant for transition melt downs. Coming in from outside, getting changed, going to the dinner table, leaving the dinner table, getting dressed, getting undressed, getting in the car seat, getting out of the car seat, brushing teeth and lately she's been quite annoyed that she can not control involuntary reflexes like breathing, blinking and yawning.
There is a point of no return with her that means you have to let her scream and rant it out. I know with patience, the above interventions and time this too as a dear friend commented "shall pass like a kidney stone, but it shall pass." After all, I had been told by "professionals" that no doubt Jacob would be in a boys home or worse at his current age when he was not much older than Hannah; not the well adjusted, quirky, funny, straight A kiddo he is today.
In the meantime, I think I shall invest in a lot of spackle, sandpaper and paint to cover up the evidence. You never know when Old Faithful might have to breathe;)
No comments:
Post a Comment