I found myself making a silly joke on a social network tonight that I have no mates. Of course all my real mates came running and pointed out how wrong I was, and indeed I was. However, said friends are also between 600 and 3000 miles away. I have been in Suburban Atlanta for just about six years now and this is how I know I have no close friends. When schools and camps ask for an emergency contact I am stumped. I learned fairly recently, I don't do peripheral, polite shoulder rubs. I really have tried, but it is so against my nature it physically hurts. Either you have my back and I have yours or else piss off. I suspect this is a combination of being an only child, coming from a "broken" home and being an immigrant. Special needs kids is icing.
My best friend, who is 600 miles off, and I should never have left understands. She posted a half joke tonight about running from play dates now she knows best. I completely understand that, on two levels; it's less about the children and so much more about those perfect Mommy's validating their perfect vocation. Also, for my friend and I, our special needs children have placed us on a different plain, perhaps a different dimension. I remember the day she threw her gorgeous baby boy into my arms and demanded I feel his soft spot and I agreed, he was too old to have a soft spot. At that moment she was well within her rights to slap me upside the head, instead, I was allowed hold her baby. Now, that's a true friend!!!
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