"You can only handle what God gives you.......You're SuperMom..............I don't know how you do it." Remind you of anyone? Fecal streams of platitudes like that only exude from those who do not deal with special needs everyday. They truly mean well, but after the 75th version of the same phrase you become numb to it all. That's the peripheral edging I hear on a daily basis being parent to my three. I get a thump on the back and nothing else. Nice, but in all honesty, empty.
I was thinking the last few days about caregivers. I had to rewrite my CV /resume recently. In fact I had to rewrite it about four times, depending on the job application. Despite my numerous diplomas, degrees, job experience and post grad work I had to explain being out of the taxpaying workforce the last 6 years. Stay at home Mom doesn't quite cut it, especially if those reading said resume actually knew what that meant.
I chose the title caregiver, (perhaps all stay at home parents should really). I have given my all to three very brilliant yet also very dependent children. My, and their Father's sacrifice for these children has had them move three times in two states, file bankruptcy, deal with foreclosure and still live paycheque to paycheque. (That's paycheck for all American types;)
Caregiver!! Just looks like a filler on a resume to explain away babies at expensive preschools while Mommy plays tennis. If my prospective employers really knew about what it really stands for; resilience, tenacity, unconditional love, righteous anger, hitting that mat every day for our child. If they only knew, they'd beg us for the same commitment.
It is so unfair and so unjust, because every child who is cared for by the nation or by local authorities costs a massive amount. And children 'cared for' in institutions are very likely to be offenders and cost a great deal of money in the prison system.
ReplyDeleteYet, parents who take responsibility and spend time, money, effort and, most of all love to bring up children to be good people - they get little or nothing. In fact, they get less than nothing, because, as you say, you spend so much on specialist help and other expenses.
I know you know this too well, Dee, and I am writing for those who may not realise just how little is done for those who do so much.